City boy in the Rocky Mountain Wilderness

(Jim's anecdotes about living in the sticks)

• This town has no stop lights.
• There is no mail delivery here.
• The "daily" paper is printed four days a week.
• I got my hair cut at a shop that has no working hours, just a sign in the window which had YUP on one side and NOPE on the other. When you drive past and see YUP, you can get your hair cut.
• The roads get trashed here in the winter, consequently, all summer long, road crews are out working on them. Yesterday I wanted to pick up our "daily" newspaper, which involves driving down the hill to the Inn at the main road (2 1/2 miles). I got stuck for fifteen minutes by the road crew, and I thought to myself, "this could never happen to me in any other place I've lived." Sure, there are road crews everywhere, but I've never lived anyplace with only one road; anyplace else, I would have turned around and gone a different way.
• There are real, honest-to-goodness cowboys here!
• The nearest shoe store is an hour and fifteen minutes away.
• I'm told it's clear and still here in the winter... clear up to your ass, and still coming down!
• The school's are only open four days a week.
• There is a single-plex movie theater. Not in my town, of course, but fifteen miles down the road.
• My neighbor has a bison.
• My bank in the nearest town, has winter hours 9:00-2:00 Mon., Fri. THAT'S MONDAY AND FRIDAY!!!!!
• In the local elections there are three races; one race will probably be the closest: between Eden Recor and Gail Brooks. That's because the other two races are uncontested!
• We are charged an extra $5.00/month for our phone service to defray the cost of laying cable all the way out to here-there isn't enough client base to make us profitable.
• I can hit the seek button on my radio, and it won't find anything.
• Virtually everyone I know has hit a deer or elk at some time.
• People are unwilling to let a Wal-Mart open here.
• The highway I live on is closed for the winter 15 miles down the road from me.
• There is no place in this county to buy underwear!

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